How To Make Romance On The Road

Many a backpackers dream is to head off to a foreign land and taste the local sashimi. However, if you don’t want to pay outrageous prices for sometimes outdated fish, you’re gonna have to learn some tricks. In this guide I will present you with the tips that will maximize your potential for road romance.

Part 1.

Regardless of your experience or luck back home, if you are going backpacking, there is a good chance you are going to get it on. This is due to a few reasons. The first is that by just being a traveler, you gain a certain cool factor. You are the guy or girl who is looking for good times and adventures in foreign lands. Who isn’t attracted to this ideal?  The second reason is that when you are traveling in a foreign country, all the rules from back home don’t seem to apply anymore. You can do socially or morally unacceptable things, like fart in a closed train compartment with a bunch of strangers, and not feel too guilty about it. Why? Because sociologically speaking, it’s not your society and so you don’t feel susceptible to possible consequences. Additionally, in case anyone smelled the remnants of your taco salad lunch, you will probably never see them again. So, why am I talking about passing gas in closed compartments? Well, this analogy best illustrates how both guy and girl backpackers feel when it comes to hooking up. It’s a combination of “what you do on the road, stays on the road,” with culture shock, horniness, and sometimes drunkenness that makes it much more likely to find romance.

Although inherent to backpacking is an increased probability that you will get it on, it is still necessary to refine your techniques and positioning in order to maximize this potential. Lets first begin with ‘things not to do.’ You will find that these apply at home as well as abroad. 1) Try not to talk excessively about yourself. There is a tendency for many backpackers, especially if it’s their first time, to ramble on and on about the places they have seen and things they have done. This is all good to an extent but when the conversation becomes one sided, it can become a turn off. 2) If you can help it, try not to emanate funky odors. Get a shower in before you leave the hostel in the morning. While everyone on the road inevitably stinks, there are degrees of stinkiness, and you don’t want to fall into the “he/she smells like bear shit” category. 3) Finally, you don’t want to give him/her the impression that you are looking for something more than a hook up. You never know, it could evolve into a “Before Sunset” relationship, but in order to kindle the flames, a no strings attached mentality is the consensus.

Now lets turn to some active strategies you can undertake in order to facilitate the actual mating process. 1) It is important for you to choose the right hostel. You should take into account a few different factors when deciding. First, anything with a hot tub or pool is a yes. Large and relatively private showers are also good and provide easy clean up. The laundry room or broom closets aren’t bad either. Finally, a back yard with some overgrown foliage may prove an ideal love suit.

2) Take night trains with nice sleeping compartments. Not only do night trains help maximize your time sight seeing but they often present great opportunities to indulge in your carnal impulses. The sleeping bunks are quite narrow, so you will definitely need good balance. Turning this into a reality begins at the train station. While you are buying your ticket, scope out the backpackers. Make friends and see if you can’t bunk up with one of them. The rest is up to you. Additionally, you may discover a beautiful swiss girl smoking in the train corridor. She might just teach you how to roll a cigarette and then if you’re lucky, invite you into the bathroom. I would indulge you further with the details of a few triumphant anecdotes but my family is probably going to read this.

3) Festivals! European festivals in particular are comparable to massive mating rituals. The relentless rhythm of the bass, the cornucopia of drugs and alcohol, and a sea of private tents make it hard not to get it on at a festival. Click here for a guide on the coolest festivals of Europe.

To sum up, if you keep your B.O. under taxi cab levels, find hostels conducive to your ambitions and attend famous festivals, you will get your mojo on. While your chances of getting laid on the road are far greater than at home, you still need to have ‘game’ and position your self strategically. Conversely, for those of you with out much luck and with money to blow, you can always get a prostitute.  Engage at your own risk!

Good luck and safe travels,

Leif

Ps. If you have any erotic travel tales or tips to improve this guide, feel free to post them below!